Till Hell Freezes Over Essay Contest

Probability: In another exam, a pupil was asked: “A coin is flipped and then a die is rolled, what is the probability of rolling an odd and then flipping a tails.” They replied, 0 per cent, because the coin was flipped first – an answer technically correct, but ignoring the theory of probability.

When hell freezes over: The question of whether hell is endothermic (absorbs heat) or exothermic (gives off heat) is one of the better known exam test legends. While most students answered with theories about Boyle’s law and gas cooling when it expands and heating when compressed, one student wrote an answer saying first they needed to determine whether the mass of Hell was increasing or decreasing.

He then concluded there were two possibilities: “1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

“2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.”

Why? In another widely known rumour about a Philosophy exam, a student was said to receive top marks when answering the one word question ‘Why?’ with ‘Why not?’

Chair: Students in a Philosophy exam were also asked to use all their philosophical knowledge to prove why a chair, placed at the front of the room, didn’t exist. While many scribbled down different theories one student simply wrote ‘What chair?’

The question: Another pupil was also said to take a direct approach to an exam question – which asked 'Is this a question?' His reply was: 'If this is an answer.'

Do you have similar tales of witty exam answers. Please post themhere

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term paper.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.



Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.



This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+!

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